Goat Simulator 3: Review

February 9, 2023

Somewhere in this place could be another goat joke, it seems that their stock was exhausted back in the reviews of the first Goat Simulator. The third part of one of the funniest and most idiotic games in history is back after eight years and again gave a sea of positive emotions, which can now be shared by four. Goat Simulator 3 has added multiplayer, and that is the most important thing.

Table of Contents

Game History

In general, originally, Goat Simulator was a meme, a concentrated joke that eventually went to the people. If only because the full-fledged release of the game took place on April 1, 2014, and originally it was generally a joke prototype for internal use – they wanted to use it to teach Coffee Stain employees how to work with the engines.

Despite opposed press reviews, the game collected likes, views, and rave reviews from players. The game became very popular with users on piratebay. Lots of people were allowed to just have fun and fool around, punch passersby, smash everything around, jump on a trampoline, and do silly tasks like “Blow up explosives with explosives”. It was also a fun parody of other games, starting with the fact that the release video referred to the Dead Island trailer.

Gameplay Features

The points of interest are numerous events. They vary from the quite usual (find and push the lost suitcases in the garage or take care of the plants) to the idiotic, when, for example, you have to knock down the hippies, who hug the trunks in a burst of love.

And then there’s the talent contest;

Help spin three ballerinas;
Decorate with life preservers, balls, benches, or even people a huge art installation;
Assemble an incredible clunker out of any parts;
Find and activate 5G towers;
Help scientists assemble a machine to complete an experiment to create human bananas;
Participate in a live presidential debate.

The closest association after the first hours in Goat Simulator 3 is a typical open-world project. We have several areas open in front of us on a common map (from the suburban expanse of the ranch “Clearlands” to the crowded city streets of Kozelburg), which we are free to explore on our four or, say, bypassing the neighborhood in a stolen police car. And, of course, sooner or later, our bleating underling will start to do all sorts of mischief. But where the saga of “The Great Carjacker” or, say, the story of the hacker’s everyday life begins with a story interspersed with side missions, “Goat Simulator” entertains with completely different things.

There’s no clearly defined general purpose here, and the opening scene, a rather straightforward play on the intro from Skyrim (an actual joke, nothing to say…), is rather necessary to indicate the level of local awkward humor. But once we get out of the imperial wagon, it opens up absolute freedom of action: we are free to hit everything and everyone under the hoof – whether it’s people, cars, and objects in the environment or try to experiment with different combinations of effects, colliding with power generators and gas stations in an attempt to arrange a local Armageddon. Sometimes the results are quite spectacular, and the level of improvised destruction is not inferior to another scene from the actual Call of Duty.

Game Mechanics

Goat Simulator 3 can hardly be called a solid game or even a meaningful sandbox. It is not even a game parody but rather a parody of a game that blatantly rejects industry-accepted standards, overzealously trying to be funny and uproarious. But, in fact, Goat Simulator 3 can only offer flat humor and a video-game form of physical comedy.

Objectively, it just doesn’t make sense. Nevertheless, realizing all of this, you can thoroughly enjoy the time spent in frantic, chaotic experiments, participating in bizarre events, following goat instincts, and creating Doomsday on the quiet streets of Kozelburg. Yes, even dressing up a goat in ridiculous outfits turns out to be an incredibly fascinating activity.